Let's Make a Baby Page 2

We made it outside, and he ushered me over to the bench that sat right outside the back door. Before long, kids would be finishing up their lunch and heading out there to sit around on the lawn, but for the moment we were alone.

  He handed me my lunch, which he had packed earlier in the day and we sat in companionable silence, eating and just enjoying the beautiful seventy-degree temperature. Normally, this far into November, we'd be lucky to see fifties and sixties, but the freak warm front made me want to curl up in the sun like a cat and take a nap.

  Lunch flew by like it always did, and so did the second half of the day, meaning I was at my doctor's appointment before I knew it, and oddly nervous. It wasn't like anything was even gonna happen that day, but it was one step closer to finally getting something that I'd wanted for a while now. A baby.

  They'd looked me over and did some blood work, but basically told me they thought everything should be all good to go.

  By the time I got home, I was physically and emotionally spent. I'd probably burned a thousand calories bouncing my legs around in the waiting room as I tried to convince myself there was absolutely no reason for me to bolt for the door.

  I knew I was gonna have to tell Fletcher at some point, since me having a baby would no doubt change not only our relationship, but our living arrangements as well. I just wasn't sure what to say.

  “Hey Fletch. So, because I'm in love with you and have no real hope of finding an alpha that will ever measure up, and I'm not one for settling, I’ve decided that the only option for me is to buy sperm. Don't worry. I totally picked the first big blond with hazel eyes that I found on paper, so my child could look a little like you. That's not weird, right?”

  I looked down at all the paperwork and the pamphlets in my hands as I walked up the front steps and cringed, wondering if I could sneak in the house and by Fletcher without him seeing it.

  I smiled, thinking of the way Fletcher usually greeted me, and realized it would be impossible to sneak by him. The man was a hugger… well, maybe not with everybody, but with me, he was definitely a hugger.

  Biting my lip, I folded the printouts around the pamphlets, successfully hiding any text or pictures. Until I was ready to go in for my first procedure, I wanted to keep this information to myself. I knew he'd be happy for me, I really did, but I couldn't help the odd feeling in my heart that told me something wasn't quite right. Like maybe this wasn't supposed to be the plan for me.

  Unfortunately, I didn't really see another way, and I really wanted a baby. There was a part of me that wondered if I didn't need this baby as a way to distance myself from Fletcher, so when he did find that omega, or beta, or even alpha that made him want to finally be in a relationship, I'd have something to hold onto to make it easier to let him go.

  The next moment, was a rough one. I didn't know how spiders worked so quickly, because I knew Fletcher had walked through the door less than an hour before me, surely an entire web couldn't be built that fast. I mean, what had the little asshole spider done, sat there waiting for Fletcher to pass through the door before he built his fucking Gates snare?

  Well take that, you asshole. I just ripped down all your hard work.

  I screamed, like the high-pitched gurgling, somebody-is-being-murdered scream, flailing my arms around ridiculously. I managed to throw myself backward with my propeller arms, nearly falling off the porch.

  I managed to get my balance, just as the front door flung open, and a wide-eyed Fletcher stood bare chested in the doorway.

  Now, I never failed to gawk at my gorgeous friend anytime he walked around the house half dressed. I hadn't even really been that good at hiding it, since occasionally, he'd catch me and say something that would usually have me denying it and saying something stupid like, “Is that a new mole?”

  It was like a compulsion… or maybe obsession was the right word. I couldn't keep from looking at him, and I couldn't keep from getting caught, and he probably thought I was mapping out his body for a flesh suit or something with how much attention I paid his nevi and freckles.

  Maybe I could go back to school for dermatology, and be the mastermind behind the most elaborate and expensive lie ever to cover my ass from all the gawking. That thought was ridiculous. I'd much rather just be a serial killer that wore people’s leathers.

  Of course, the one thing guaranteed to make me forget even Fletcher's gorgeous body, was the fact that I could distinctly feel something crawling on top of my head, moving the hairs against my scalp.

  I screamed again, bending forward and swatting at the top of my head with both hands while dancing around like I needed to pee.

  I think I very nearly bashed my own brain in. I was completely unaware of my surroundings at that point, so it should’ve come as no surprise for me to nearly fall down the steps behind me, except it did, and when my foot caught nothing but air, the screams only intensified. Thankfully, the half-naked man who was my best friend, my roommate and the love of my life, was quick, because he managed to reach out and snag me before I tipped backwards down the steps.

  He jerked me toward him, a crease in the middle of his forehead as he pulled back to look at me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

  "There's a fucking spider in my hair." I growled, still trying to swat at whatever it was that was climbing around on top of my head.

  He rolled his eyes, reaching up and pulling a handful of something off the top of my head. "This... this was on top of your head."

  I looked down to find a leaf, wrapped in spiderweb. I could only assume that the thing I felt crawling on my head was actually the leaf blowing around in the breeze.

  I cringed, looking away. "Alright," I grumbled, feeling stupid. "Get out of the way."

  He chuckled, releasing me slowly. His hands were so warm on my back, I considered just staying in his arms and enjoying it, but I was tired and feeling a little too vulnerable just then to allow myself to be drawn into that particular web.

  I walked inside, leaving him standing on the porch, and headed to my room. I needed a hot shower and my bed. I needed time to think about what I was doing and if it really was the right course for me. My next appointment was the following week, and if everything went the way it was supposed to, I'd be on fertility-boosting drugs soon, and well on my way to becoming a father.

  It was something I'd always wanted, but a part of me was really struggling with it.

  I'd just pulled my shirt off, lying across the bed and was reaching for the button on my pants when Fletcher’s voice from the door startled me.

  "Why do you have this stuff?" He asked, sounded confused, and maybe a little sad.

  I turned suddenly, eyes wide as I looked first at his face and then down at the papers he was holding in his hand. I'd completely forgotten about the papers in all the drama on the front porch. They'd probably fallen when I was flailing around like an idiot.

  My stomach dropped when I looked back up at his face, seeing the pain written in his expression. It wasn’t that I wasn’t going to tell him. It was just that I was going to wait until I knew for sure that I could even get pregnant. All the tests the doctors had run had pointed to the fact that I was completely healthy and shouldn't expect anything except a nice normal pregnancy, but I had wanted to be sure, so I wouldn’t have to worry. I’d even considered not telling him until I was pregnant.

  I cleared my throat. "Uh, well, I’ve been wanting a baby for a while, and it’s not really looking like I’m going to find an alpha anytime soon, so I decided I wanted to be a father.

  "Why didn’t you tell me about this?" He asked. He was definitely hurt, though I was a little shocked by the tears I saw glimmering on the rim of his eyelashes.

  I sighed, giving him a small smile. "I just, I don’t know. I guess I thought you wouldn’t understand."

  He tilted his head to the side, frowning. "Why wouldn’t I understand? Do you think I don’t want kids? I know exactly what it’s like to want kids, and not see a way to get them."

  I blink
ed, completely surprised. "Why wouldn’t you have a way to get them? I practically had to pull Vi and Meg is off you today. You should honestly be swimming in babies."

  He curled his lip, giving me a look that said he was disappointed in me. "You know I'm not like that. If I'm going to have a kid with somebody, it's going to be somebody who is really important to me. Kids deserve to have two parents that can at the very least stand to be in the same room with each other. Can you honestly imagine me in a relationship with any of those omegas?"

  I shook my head, feeling even worse that I'd even for a second suggested he just pick one out of the group and make a baby. He might be the most eligible alpha I'd ever known, but he was far from some shallow prick that was going to use some random omega for their breeding ability and then just move on.

  "I know. I know that you're not shallow or someone who would just hop into a relationship for a baby. I guess I'm just surprised that this is something you wanted. I've probably told you a million times that I wanted kids, but you never seem interested in them yourself."

  He licked his lips, searching my face. "I haven’t really thought that it was much of an option. It's becoming more and more unlikely the older I get, and the more set in my ways that I'll find an omega who can be both what I want and appreciate what I am or who I am. It's been really tempting to settle, since I'm probably not going to get that perfect person. But every time I consider settling, I'm reminded just how great my life is, and I realize that would change if I settled. Why change something that's so amazing, for something mediocre."

  I blinked in surprise. Hadn't that been exactly what I'd been thinking when I decided I was sick of waiting for an alpha to come along who would not only be all the things I wanted in an alpha, but would also be okay with my strange relationship with Fletcher?

  "I mean, I could probably find a surrogate to have a baby for me, but most surrogates look for a happy family" Fletcher continued, walking over to my bed and flopping down. "I'm betting it would be pretty hard to find one that would be okay giving a baby to an incomplete family."

  "You've thought about this a lot," I whispered, moving over to sit on the bed next to him, not at all surprised when he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me backward until we were both lying on the bed, his arm around me and my head resting on his shoulder. "You want a family that bad? I'm sorry I didn't realize that. I guess we are both feeling that time is just ticking away, huh?"

  And here I was, about to take the next step, and he was stuck, because he sure as hell couldn't make a baby on his own.

  "Hey!" he said, twisting us suddenly until he was up on his elbow, leaning over me. "Let's make a baby."

  I blinked a moment, not really sure if he was meaning to make it sound like he wanted to have a baby with me.. "What?"

  "Yeah." His outside hand landed on my stomach and my muscles fluttered. "Why not? I want a family. You want a family. Why don't we do this together? We know we get along."

  We did. That was what made it so hard. I could have left a long time ago if he'd been an asshole, or even just annoying to live with. It would have saved me a lot of angst if so, but the truth was, I loved living with him. I didn't relish the idea of ever moving out, even though it would probably be best, especially after I got pregnant.

  Unless I got pregnant with his child.

  "But what if you find someone you want to really start a family with later on?"

  Licking his lips, he looked away, a crease popping up between his brows. "I really don't think that is ever going to be a problem, but I guess that is something to think about for you. You might find that alpha someday. I know you're pretty discouraged right now, but I can't imagine someone like you going very long without someone wanting to snatch you up."

  I nearly laughed at the absurdity. He had absolutely no idea how impossible that really was for me. "Yeah. I'm good. I didn't make this decision lightly."

  He tilted his head to the side, watching me, probably hearing more in that statement than I wanted him to, but he didn't comment.

  "So, what do you think? You want to have a baby with me?"

  My stomach flipped again. Just hearing him ask that question. It was like a dream. Of course, I wanted to have a baby with him. I'd been planning on picking out a donor with a strong resemblance to him… at least on paper. Having the real thing, and having a child that could possibly get those eyes, or that nose, or just about any other feature he had… I was not saying no to that.

  "Yeah," I croaked, before clearing my throat and trying again. "Yeah, let's have a baby."

  "Yes!" he yelled to the ceiling before surprising me by leaning down to press a quick kiss to my forehead, leaving the skin tingling. "So, when do we get started?"

  "I guess as soon as I ovulate. We could continue to go to the clinic if you wanted. That would take a lot of the guessing game out of it, but it would save us money if we did it here at home, we could probably figure it out."

  He blinked, raising an eyebrow at me. "Uh, figure it out? Do you have to be in a certain position to actually get pregnant? I guess I always just thought as long as… everything went in the proper slot…" He glanced down at our lower bodies and my eyes followed.

  "No, I…" Oh. Oh, wow. "Wait. Are you saying we do it the old-fashioned way?" I asked on a whisper, like there was someone around, listening to our conversation.

  My dick filled immediately. No slowly growing to life. Call my dick Alice, because I think it ate candy some strange doorknob told it to eat, and suddenly bam, it was too big for my britches.

  I squirmed slightly, hoping Fletcher wouldn't see what the hell was going on, but I thought he might be a little distracted as he leaned his head to the side, looking down at me curiously.

  "Oh," he said after a moment, sounding a little disappointed. "Were you thinking something else?"

  I cleared my throat, swallowing hard. "I guess I didn't think you'd want to do… that... but if… I mean… that would be the best shot, probably."

  It really would. Not nearly as expensive, and then I wouldn't have to take the fertility drugs that could possibly cause me to drop multiple eggs and therefore end up with octuplets or something. I wanted a kid. I didn't know if I could handle a fucking baseball team right off the bat.

  "Okay," he said, doing a little squirm of his own that had me wanting to glance down and see if he was having the same problem I was. "So… we're doing this... when you ovulate." He licked his lips. "When do you ovulate?"

  "Next week."

  Shit! I was going to go insane for the next week.

  Fletcher

  I liked how the pillows were cushioning his legs, but I didn't like how that put his body so far away. I really wanted him to lean back against me like he normally did when we watched a movie, but what was I supposed to do, tell him to stay sitting up until I finished with his legs and then slide behind him. That would make him uncomfortable the whole time I was fixing his legs.

  Ooo, pillows.

  Gates sighed, leaning his head back to look at me when I repositioned his back again, propping pillows behind it so that he wouldn't have to hold himself up.

  "What are you doing?" he asked, after a moment of watching me bend over him and fuss.

  "Huh?" I wasn't paying all that much attention since one of the pillows I needed had rolled off the couch and I was in the process of holding him up with one hand and batting at the fallen pillow with the other.

  "What are you doing, Fletch?"

  I reached out with my foot and gripped the corner with my toes, crying out in triumph when I reached down and grabbed the pillow, propping it with the others behind Gates' back.

  "I'm trying to take care of you," I said, smiling down at him when I finally got the pillow in position. "You're about to go through something that can be kinda tough, and all I have to do is sit and watch you… grow with my child. I feel like I need to take care of you."

  "Damn," he whispered, a frown popping up between his brows. "You're going to
be really good at this too, aren't you?"

  I didn't know how to read that expression. There was a small smile at the corner of his mouth, but his eyes looked sad, or resigned.

  "Are you upset about that?" I asked hesitantly, finally getting his feet the way I wanted them, and then moving back to where he was leaning against the pillows, once again holding him up as I swept the pillows out of the way. I slid in behind him, stretching my leg out along the crease of the couch and then leaning him back against my chest, sighing contentedly as he snuggled in.

  "No," he whispered, rolling his head slightly against my chest. "Just preparing myself. Let's just watch the movie, okay?"

  ***

  "Mom wants to know if you're bringing Pecan Pies," I said, leaning around the doorframe to his room, smiling when I found him lying on his back on his bed, throwing a ball up in the air and biting his lip.

  He looked edgy and nervous, and the lip biting was a dead giveaway that he was anxious about something. Butterflies danced in my stomach as I considered just what that might be.

  "Yeah." He threw the ball, then caught it, his eyes darting in my direction. "Three."

  "You hear that?" I asked my mom, chuckling softly when she just grunted as she wrote it down in her planner. "Okay, we'll be there around eleven."

  It was Saturday and Thanksgiving was less than a week away. I'd been counting the seconds up until Gates told me he was ovulating. I was far too excited about the whole thing, but I couldn't help it. I knew it was probably a terrible idea to get into a physical relationship with the man I was in love with, when the outcome wasn't going to be me someday putting a ring on it, no matter how bad I wanted to, but… the idea of missing this opportunity to finally taste and feel him was too much. I knew without a doubt that I would have some serious regrets in my life if I didn't do it.

  I was just going to have to figure out how not to let it go to my heart.

  "Are you listening to me?" My mom asked, sounding huffy.

  "Huh?" I asked, pretty much assuring her that I hadn't been listening at all, but I'd kinda dazed out on Gates and the way he was abusing that fucking lip. When it slipped out of his mouth, it was plump and glistening... and begging for me to give it a little suck.