Playing With Jax: Chosen Book 29 Page 4
And after seeing all that, I was going to lose it because of this man I barely knew? I was going to let his opinion of me matter that much?
"To die of humiliation in a place where you aren't," I said quietly, waiting for him to move so I could continue.
He hummed into the back of my neck, nipping at the skin with his teeth and making me gasp in surprise. "I have a better idea." He gripped my hips, jerking me away from the door and shoving me toward the bed. I tripped, barely recovering before he was grabbing my hips again and spinning me in place to face him.
He gave me another of those smirks and then he shoved me backward on the bed. My bed groaned from my bulk as I bounced against it, and I cringed, hoping the thing didn't break under me while blushing furiously in embarrassment.
Jax looked incredible standing between my legs at the end of the bed. His pants were still undone, and I watched in awe as he reached down, adjusting himself so that his hard dick was no longer angled toward his hip, but standing up proudly above the top of his underwear, gorgeous and glistening with pre-cum.
I involuntarily licked my lips, hating myself a little for the tell, especially when I looked back up at his face, catching the smug look of his expression.
I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths and holding them, trying desperately not to let this get to me.
"Lane?" he called quietly, but I couldn't open my eyes to see what he wanted, and I definitely couldn't open my mouth to tell him to go away. I was locked up, trying to ride out a wave of humiliation.
I gripped the sheets at my sides to keep from pulling my arms up across my chest as protection, or rolling onto my side and curling in a ball, and I felt his thighs against the inside of mine as he shifted between my legs, and then gentle hands were cradling my face as his chest settled against mine.
"Lane, what's wrong?"
When I couldn't even open my mouth to lie to him and tell him I was fine, soft lips brushed against my cheek.
"Come on, baby. Tell me what's wrong."
I blinked my eyes open, not sure what to think of the pet name, or the sweet way he was talking to me… or the sweet smile he gave me when I met his eyes.
"Are you okay?"
I swallowed hard and nodded, not really sure, but at least I wasn't about to fucking cry.
"Was I too rough?'
I huffed out a laugh, remembering how I'd been the one to jerk him around by his hair and tongue fuck his face, and then I groaned again, closing my eyes as a blush warmed my face. "No, I'm pretty sure I started that."
His eyes darkened, and he licked his lips, his eyes falling to my mouth. "Then what's wrong?
"Why are you doing this? Is this just a game or a joke? Because I don't think I can handle that right now, okay." I took a deep breath and held it. "Please," I whispered when I got myself under control. "I'm barely hanging on right now."
He looked absolutely horrified, and I took another deep breath, wondering what I'd fucked up this time. I was going to pass out if I didn't get this shit under control, and though it would just be another humiliating thing to add to the list, at least I wouldn't have to be here in this moment, near tears while the man I wanted most in the world was lying on top of me.
"No, baby," he said on a choked whisper, once again shocking my emotions into submission. "No game. Is this really how you feel about yourself? That someone would have to be trying to mess with you to want you as much as I do?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but I didn't really know what to say. It wasn't necessarily that I didn't think anyone could want me, it was just that I didn't see how he could.
His face fell with every second that passed until he finally groaned and dropped his forehead to mine. "Fuck. I blew this," he whispered, his breath caressing my face sweetly. "I didn't realize you thought that. I thought it was just your defiance. This game we play. You fucking blow me away with the way you fight me on everything. The sexy way your jaw juts and your big, thick arms flex when you cross them. I just want to throw you down and fuck you until you call my name every single time you pin me with those gorgeous blue eyes."
What the fuck?
"I'll just mess it up. Like I did the kiss," I blurted, my thoughts becoming words before I even realized I was thinking them.
"What?" He looked like I had fucking stabbed him, and I bit down on the inside of my cheek as my worry ratcheted back up. "You didn't mess up that kiss, Lane. That kiss was perfect, and it was us. Absolutely and unequivocally the best fucking kiss of my life."
"Wha––" I started, but was cut off when he pressed his lips to mine again.
He ground our mouths together, much like I'd done to him when I kissed him that first time, and when he rocked his still hard dick against mine, I gasped, easily letting him into my mouth. The first rough stab of his tongue set off something in my body, and with a groan, I wrapped my arms around him, and angled my mouth to fit better to his before meeting him jab for jab.
I slid one hand up his back, pressing down as I moved it, feeling his skin bunch beneath my palm before wrapping it over one shoulder and jerking him down while pushing my hips up against him, making the rock of our bodies that much more forceful and dragging our erections against each other.
It was so fucking good. It would take very little time for me to come like that. Just a few hard, jerking thrusts and I'd be blowing.
"Shit," Jax said, pulling back to burn me with his eyes. "I want you so fucking bad. I need to feel your skin against mine."
That sounded fucking amazing, except, as he pulled back, reaching for my shirt, I realized that having his skin against mine, he'd also be getting up close and personal with the not so great parts of my body.
Reaching down, I caught the hem of my shirt before he got it very high, pressing it back down… and earning a glare. He tugged against my grasp, his eyes practically glowing with need, and I held on, giving my own glare in return.
I was not at all expecting what he did next, and I actually yelled out in shock as my shirt was suddenly ripped up the middle and a very smug Jax stood over me, running his eyes over my exposed body.
"Fuck," he whispered, his hand reaching out to run over my stomach. "You're fucking gorgeous." His hand ran up the middle of my chest and then over to one of my pecs and I held completely still, my body actually shaking from how tightly wound I was.
I watched his eyes watch me, and I couldn't deny that he looked sincere and that his eyes were heated with lust. Whatever he saw when he looked at me, he seemed to at least be okay with for this.
He leant over me, flattening his tongue over one of my nipples and dragging it over the hardened nub before flicking his tongue over the end. I never knew there was a connection between my nipples and my dick, but now I did. I cried out as he sucked the entire areola into his mouth, the skin making a popping noise when he released me.
He leaned up, looking me over, a feral glint in his eyes. He looked hungry and possessive as hell. Everything about his face screamed you're mine, and I was inclined to agree. He could have every fucking inch of my body if he kept looking at me like that. My chest swelled with a strange type of pride to be wanted and owned by this man.
I refused to think about what would happen when he was done with me. For now, I was his, and it was the only thing in my life in that moment that was going my way, so I was going to fucking enjoy it.
He was so fucking gorgeous. It was really kind of unreal. I didn't think I'd ever known a person in real life who looked like that. The freckles should probably take away from that perfection, but the beautiful marks only made him more gorgeous.
I wanted to touch him. I wanted to feel his skin beneath my palms, and I wanted to feel the ridges of his defined body with the tips of my fingers. I wanted to lick and suck and bite all that flesh in front of me.
Releasing the sheets wadded in my fingers, I noted how the joints in my knuckles ached. I'd been so tense for so long. Long before this day. Long before this man came barreling into my li
fe, bossing me around and sticking his nose in my business. Long before I had to drug my friends. I couldn't live like this anymore.
Jax reached up, pressing his thumb against the skin between my eyebrows, massaging lightly, and I blinked up into his face, noting the soft smile there. "No more worrying, baby. I'm going to take care of you, okay?"
I nodded, biting my bottom lip and taking a deep, calming breath, doing my best to relax completely as I exhaled. The line between my brows must have relaxed because he gave me a soft smile, bending down to press a kiss to my forehead before pressing one to my mouth. He didn't go easy on me, pinning me to the mattress with his mouth, and roughly licking inside.
I groaned, meeting him, battling him.
He broke away breathless, shaking his head and smiling. "Fuck, Lane. I'm not so sure I couldn't get off just from kissing you."
"We'll have to try that sometime," I said boldly, presuming he was going to give me another chance.
"Yes," he growled, leaning down to suck my bottom lip into his mouth and letting it go with a loud pop that matched the sound he'd made when he'd released my nipple earlier. "We'll try it all."
Climbing back down the bed and stepping off the end, he kissed down my chest and stomach, making my body quake as I gently ran my hands over every inch of skin I could reach, my fingers mapping out places for my tongue later.
Stopping at the closure of my jeans, he looked up, meeting my eyes. Lying on my back like I was, We could almost pretend I didn't have a gut, but I still had to suck in slightly if he was going to get his fingers under the band to undo it, with my hands moving over the not-so-subtle ridges of his ribs and abs, I had another moment of doubt, wondering why he would possibly want to be with me.
He could absolutely have anyone he wanted. Was I simply convenient?
His fingers slid under the band of my pants, and I hadn't even sucked in since my brain had been spinning in a completely different direction. He undid my jeans with ease, but he didn't immediately go for my dick like I'd expected, instead, he leaned forward, nuzzling his face against my belly, making me gasp. He didn't seem repulsed by my extra weight at all, and though it took me a moment to feel comfortable with him being so close to one of my biggest insecurities, I found that the longer he nuzzled and kissed and licked at the plush flesh, even going as far as to bury his face in it, the more erotic it started to feel. His whiskers raked across the tender skin leaving more of his marks on me, and his large, wide hands massaged until I was whimpering and begging, pulling my legs up and planting my feet on the bed in an effort to get more leverage so I could push myself more fully against him.
"Fuck, Lane," he groaned against my stomach. "Everything about you is so damn sexy, and look at the way you move for me."
He pressed down against my lower stomach with his palm, and I whined as he gently forced my hips to settle against the bed.
Standing again, he tugged my pants down and off. My boxers were just a boring plaid pair I'd put on that morning without even a thought to the fact that someone might see them, but there I was, lying on my bed in nothing but, with the man I wanted to impress most.
I chuckled softly, reaching up to cover my face with both hands, and trying to ignore the rapid beating of my heart as hands once again gently landed on my exposed skin, sliding gently over my sides and down to my boxers.
"What's funny, baby?" His voice was deep and husky with lust, and I could swear his hands were shaking as he settled them at my hips.
I slowly lowered my hands, smiling softly before pointedly looking down at my boxers. "If I had known this was… even a possibility, I would have worn sexier undies."
He chuckled, hooking his fingers in the band at my hips, his hands definitely shaking. "It doesn't matter," he said, glancing down at the front of my underwear, licking his lips and swallowing. "I have a feeling I'm going to like you better naked anyway."
I wouldn't be too sure of that. The thought barely even had time to take root before he was pulling my boxers down my legs. It seemed like it both took forever and was over too soon as I waited.
I was once again faced with the challenge of finding something for my hands to do, only this time, I also wasn't sure what to do with… anything. I was just lying there, eyes wide, with my hands down at my sides, once again clutching the sheets. My legs were spread slightly. A blush had turned my chest, neck, face and ears a pretty flattering shade of red, I had no doubt, and I knew I probably looked about as relaxed as a straight man getting a prostate exam, but I'd never in my life been face with the challenge of trying to be sexy.
And Jax just continued to stare at me, his eyes moving endlessly over my body as his hand dropped to the front of his pants, pressing against his dick through the material, and residually exposing more of his gorgeous tool.
Feeling brave, I licked my lips and pulled first one leg and then the other up until my feet were once against planted on the mattress close to my body. His eyes darkened, and a low growl rumbled from his chest. Not really the sound of a predator, but a nice rumble that almost sounded like a purr. I slid my feet further apart, and let my knees fall open, growing quickly addicted to this feeling of power exposing myself was giving me.
I gasped, my dick jumping and pre-cum oozing from the slit when his hands landed on my knees, the simple touch sending waves of sensation along my skin.
He slid his hands up the inside of my thick thighs, inching closer and closer to my dick, and my body began to wind tight, but this time for a different reason. When his hands settled high on the inside of my thighs, I pulled my lips between my teeth to keep from begging him to take my dick in his hand, but I was pretty sure he could read it loud and clear on my face anyway.
I did cry out, though, when he leaned down over me, pressing a peck to the crease of my upper thigh, so close to my fucking balls, his whiskered cheek brushed the wrinkled flesh, and I groaned, loving the rasp.
He smiled in delight, running his chin over them again, and making me cry out. "Please," I whined, not really sure what I was even begging him for, but he seemed to know as he kept his eyes on mine, reaching out to wrap his fingers around my dick, giving it a long, slow stroke.
"Oh shit!" I yelled, my body curling up, and my shoulders lifting off the bed as I nearly came from the first touch.
"Fuck, that's hot," he groaned, his hand stilling, but convulsing on my dick as he watched me.
He gave another stroke, and I shuddered, letting out a little whimper. There was no way I was going to last long. My body was just too damn primed, and considering the starved look in his eyes, I didn't think I was going to be embarrassed when I went.
Pre-cum was leaking from my body continuously, easing the way for his hand as he worked me. Just when I thought I was about to blow, sounds I didn't even recognize rolling out of my throat, he eased his hold on my dick, taking away the delicious friction and he climbed up onto the bed with me, sitting on his knees between my legs.
His eyes met mine, and they surprised me with how feverish they looked as he held my gaze, leaning down. I watched him the whole way, noticing his face getting closer and closer to my dick, but for some reason, the idea of him taking me into his mouth just didn't occur to me until his lips were wrapping around the head of my dick.
"Fuck. Shit. Oh, fucking fuck," I said, throwing my head around on the bed as my balls pulled tight in a second, drawing up so hard and so fast, it almost hurt.
His eyes were so bright and focused on me, following every one of my movements, taking it all in, and I groaned, reaching up to bury my hands in his hair, needing something to ground me as my body sang with sensation.
He slid down my shaft, his hot mouth taking me all the way to the root, and I gargled out a groan, completely unable to warn him as I immediately shot, filling his mouth.
He groaned, and his eyes rolled back into his head, the vibrations from his throat sending more waves of ecstasy through my body until I was too fucking sensitive to take it anymore, and I whim
pered, drawing my hips back in hopes I would slip right out of his mouth.
Holy… something. I'd never experienced anything like that in my life. My body was a tingling, twitching mess, and I didn't think I could work my muscles right then if I tried, but I really needed to move so I could take care of Jax.
Maybe I could talk him into just jacking off over me and shooting his load against my chest. The thought made me groan as my dick gave an exhausted jump at the idea of that gorgeous man working himself over me, and blowing against my chest, stomach… and maybe even my dick.
"Don't you want to… uh." I cringed, not really sure how you asked a man to do that.
He rolled his head against my thigh where he slumped over, his body lax as he blinked up at me, and I licked my lips, motioning toward my junk, hoping he'd get the gist of what I was asking considering I apparently wasn't going to be able to articulate it to him.
He smirked, kissing my thigh, and easing himself into a sitting position. "I already did." He motioned toward his front, and I saw the mess that had clearly just been made against his stomach, and my eyes widened in surprise.
He'd gone untouched. I knew the implications of a shifter coming without the aid of his hand while giving a blowjob, but I was having a really hard time wrapping my mind around the prospect of that. Not because I didn't want it, but because I was having a hard time believing it was possible.
He stood, slowly, pressing kisses to my still-quivering skin along the way, and I watched him with wide, shocked eyes as he swiped my torn shirt off the floor and ran it over the mess on his stomach, cringing slightly. "I'm going to run over to my room to get a clean shirt. I'll be right back, okay?"
He waited for me to nod before he strode somewhat steadily over to the door, throwing a wink over his shoulder at me before peeking out into the hallway, and then slipping quietly out of the room.