Nights With Roarsen Read online

  Copyright © 2019 J.D. Light

  Edited by Ann Attwood Editing and Proofreading Services

  A little info if you aren't familiar with my Chosen series:

  The Chosen are marked humans (male and female) with the ability to have special shifter children. The males have an organ hidden behind their appendix that works as a sort of uterus and is where they produce eggs once that part of them is activated, which is accomplished when they are claimed through bonding with a shifter. The children born from these special humans are called chosen children (very technical name, I know) and have special abilities.

  Since the chosen started showing up again, there have been shifters trying to make a profit by kidnapping and selling them to shifters who want to claim them and constantly keep them bred with special children. Enid, along with his best friend Beckett, was kidnapped off the streets where they were both living at the time and kept in a fallout shelter for a little over three weeks.

  Prologue

  March 9, 2019

  I froze as the light from the back porch caught on glowing orange eyes where the trees got thicker at the very back of the yard.

  Apparently, Crawford had taken the back part of the fence off that had once surrounded his property when he first moved back, because he knew shifters and wanted them to be able to wander up whenever.

  "Hello," I said, as the tiger approached, trying to force my body to relax. "Now, logically, I know you're a shifter, because we are in the middle of the fucking suburbs and tigers don't just run around the suburbs all willy-nilly, but if you could give me a sign that you might not be a wild tiger looking for your next meal, I'd very much appreciate it."

  The tiger stopped in his tracks, tilting his head to the side for a moment, looking extremely adorable for a giant beast that could kill me in seconds, then he put one paw forward before pulling it back and put it forward again, before giving it a little shake.

  I blinked, a smile slowly sliding up my face when the large cat planted his back feet and used his front end to spin in a circle. "Are you doing the Hokey Pokey?" I asked, a chuckle starting to roll up from my stomach and out of my throat.

  When the only answer he gave me was to put his left paw in, I lost it.

  It had been weeks since I’d laughed. I wasn't even sure I'd laughed much before I was abducted.

  When my laughing veered off in a weird direction, I was horrified to find myself crying, and not the type of crying where you laughed so hard tears streamed down your face. This was real, hard crying with my face all screwed up and snot and sobs.

  A giant head pushed itself into my lap and I wrapped my arms around the neck of the beast in front of me and held on like I've never held on to another being in my life.

  He smelled nice. A scent that wasn't entirely animal and reminded me that there was a human under all the gorgeous fur I had my face buried in. I should be embarrassed. I had no idea who this man was. Probably wouldn't know who he was if he was standing in front of me in human form, considering I was from over three hundred miles southwest of Crossville, but I couldn't feel anything but a comfort I hadn't felt in years.

  "Can you stay a tiger for a while?" I whispered into his thick fur. "At this moment in my life, I feel safer with a tiger's head in my lap than I do talking with most humans." I paused, pulling back slightly. "Don't tell Lincoln or Crawford, because they've been nothing but nice to me, and I don't know why they are still letting Beckett and I stay with them, but I'll be grateful forever that they didn't make me try to go back to my normal life yet, because being around people right now is just too much."

  I smiled softly, easing my hold slightly on the tiger's neck, realizing I might be strangling him. "It's always kind of been too much to be honest, being around people, but normal too much is manageable."

  He chuffed and I imagined he was laughing at my stupid rambling. "Thank you for letting me cry into your fur, pretty tiger. I'm Enid by the way. Enid Daniels."

  The tiger rumbled a slight growl, possibly introducing himself.

  "Roarsen, is it?" I said, chuckling, and he chuffed again, letting me know––I was sure––that he fully approved of the name I gave him.

  ***

  March 12, 2019

  "Decker, so help me, I will shove this remote right up your ass."

  I paused in front of the refrigerator, not really sure how to proceed. I'd never heard Lincoln threaten anyone before. It honestly didn't seem to be in his nature, but I'd been mistaken about people and their natures before.

  Decker? Where had I heard that name before? In all honesty, since I'd been rescued and Lincoln and Crawford had offered Beckett and me a place to live, I'd met more people than I'd ever wanted to know in a lifetime. All well-meaning streak members wanting to apologize and prove that they weren't all bad, but there was no way I could keep all the names straight, so I wasn't sure if I'd met this Decker person.

  Of course, if Lincoln was getting pissed enough at him to threaten the man, I probably didn't want to meet him.

  I continued, opening the fridge and grabbing a water, shaking my head at all the different drink choices there were and smiling. Everyone had been so accommodating with us, and though I knew they all felt bad about what had happened to us, I couldn't help but feel completely worthless and like an annoying burden to them all.

  That first night, they'd asked us what we usually drank and when neither of us could give them an answer beyond water, because we'd rarely gotten anything but, Lincoln had taken it upon himself to introduce us to everything, so we would be able to figure out what we preferred.

  All I knew was that all the old pops I'd enjoyed as a kid, didn't necessarily taste the same, and, as it turned out, I actually preferred water to everything else.

  "Save it for Crawford," a nice tenor grumbled, making me shiver slightly. "Incest ain't best around here."

  Incest?! What the hell? I didn't think we were in that part of Tennessee.

  Curiosity had me moving slowly to the opening between the living room and kitchen to find a man around the same height, but probably twice as wide as Lincoln, standing with his arms crossed, looking… honestly? He was beautiful.

  A gorgeous chocolate-skinned man with eyes so dark they were almost black, strong broad facial features and even broader shoulders. Not necessarily short, probably close to my own six foot height, but he was definitely stalky, though athletically so.

  I felt a tug in the direction of attraction and frowned. I couldn't be attracted to someone. I didn't want to be. Especially someone who looked so normal. There was no way Fresh Prince of Crossville would want anything to do with a… someone like me.

  The fact that I actually felt even a remote attraction to this man made me want to run and hide on the back porch until my tiger came up to see me.

  Roarsen had been there every single night since that first time four nights ago, and he'd agreed via chuff and head nod that he'd be there again that night, but considering the sun was still making a valiant showing at that moment since it was still pretty early in the evening, I knew he wouldn't be out there waiting for me just yet.

  Clearing my throat, I drew the attention of Lincoln and the man he'd just threatened with a remote, unsure what to think when the new guy’s eyes lit up as soon as they landed on me.

  "Is everything okay?" I asked, glancing at Lincoln, and then over at the stranger.

  Not that I could do anything if it turned out that the man was bothering Lincoln, considering I was pretty sure he was a shifter just like all the rest of the people who'd been wandering around there, and though I was quite a bit wider than Lincoln myself, I was pretty sure the thin guy who was graciously letting me stay in his home could kick my ass all over that house.

 
"Hi," the new guy said, smiling brightly, his white, straight teeth practically glowing next to his dark skin. "I'm Decker."

  I narrowed my eyes, not used to being greeted by anyone with such enthusiasm, and raised my eyebrows at Lincoln who was giving the new guy a strange look. "Do you need help, Linc?"

  "I'm fine, Enid," Lincoln said, reaching out and poking Decker in the cheek. "This moron is my older brother. Thank you though."

  Decker swatted at the finger that had landed directly in an adorable dimple and continued to smile at me like I was some kind of glowing Aurora Unicornialous or something.

  "Why is he yelling at you?" I asked, trying to ignore the continued, unblinking fascination in those pretty eyes.

  That apparently did the trick, because the guy went right back into pout mode. "He started yelling first."

  My lips twitched—very unlike me, honestly. Only Roarsen had the ability to make me smile and laugh anymore.

  "You said older?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

  Another gorgeous smile broke out on Decker's face and I bit my lip to keep from returning it. "Thank you," he said, brightly.

  Snorting, I shook my head. "That wasn't a compliment."

  Chapter One

  "What are you doing?" Decker said, slapping the back of the couch behind me and making me jump.

  "Holy shit! You dumbass," I growled, holding up my whittling knife. "I could have stabbed you."

  "No, but you almost stabbed yourself," he said, frowning as he came around and plopped down next to me. "What are you making there?"

  "A reindeer," I said dryly, as I put a bit more definition in the stripe of the tiger, making him snort.

  I'd learned over the last couple of months that Decker Reed understood sarcasm and innuendo better than he did English, and though I was never suggestive when I spoke to anyone, because that was too much like flirting and I didn’t tend to do that for reasons, I was fluent at sarcasm.

  "Lincoln and Crawford are out," I said, trying not to notice the way his hand was braced behind my shoulder on the couch, or the way his shin was flush against my thigh as he pulled his leg up on the cushion, so he could face me… and mind my damn business by leaning over into my space to examine what I was doing.

  "I know," he mumbled, tilting his head.

  When he leaned even further in, practically putting the back of his head between what I was working on and me, I gave serious thought to flicking him in the ear.

  "Then what do you want, boy?" I asked, moving the tiger so I could see it, and drawing attention to the face that his big head was in my way. "I'm a busy man."

  He frowned, giving me a confused look. "You're carving a tiger out of wood."

  "With a really sharp knife," I reminded him, holding up the blade and glaring pointedly.

  "Why does everyone threaten me?" he asked, giving me a faux pout. "I'm a real boy with real feelings."

  I worked hard not to smile. Decker was just so fucking cute all the time—which was ridiculous given the size of the man—but every moment I was around him, my heart thawed just a little more. "How many reasons do you need?"

  The room grew quiet, and though Decker continued to sit a little too close, and occasionally, I had to shoulder him over, so he didn't once again get between me and what I was doing, it wasn't awkward at all, which was honestly a bit disturbing in itself.

  At some point over the last couple of months, I'd become completely comfortable with Decker. Yes, my heart still picked up when he walked into the room, and my body still reacted to the way his heat seemed to flow directly into me when he was sitting close.

  "You want to go to the carnival with me?" he blurted out of nowhere, making me jump.

  "What?" The knife lost purchase with the wood, immediately stabbing directly into my finger. "Shit!"

  It wasn't a bad cut. It was a damn whittling knife and I hadn't been pressing really hard anyway. A tiny drop of blood welled up on my finger, and I sighed, rolling my eyes.

  "Here," Decker said, grabbing my hand and immediately taking my finger in his mouth.

  My heart tripped and I tried to jerk my hand back. "What are you doing?!"

  I knew I didn't have any fucking diseases, because I'd been tested three times in the last two months, but he didn't know that. Hell, I hadn't really accepted it.

  I might have been getting a little obsessive about the doctors' visits, but given my past and the fact that I was trying to make a better future, it really wasn't much of a surprise. I felt diseased. Logically, I knew the doctors all knew what they were doing, yet I couldn't help but worry the lab had false readings, or possibly just got so used to reading negative results they'd barely even looked at mine and just assumed I was clean.

  It was a constant worry down deep, and though I'd gotten to where I didn't constantly feel dirty anymore, I still had those moments when I was sure I was the dirtiest person in the room, no matter how many showers I took that day.

  And now I've tainted Decker! That meant I had to tell him. He needed to get tested, but if I told him there was a chance I was diseased, I'd have to tell him why. I'd have to tell him about my past, and then he wouldn't look at me like The Great Wall of Mount Everest anymore.

  "Hey!" Decker said, grabbing both of my shoulders and forcing me to look at him. He must have seen the absolute panic in my face, because he pulled me into his arms and forced my face down against his neck. "Sh, sh, sh. It's okay, Een. It's okay. Breathe."

  I took a deep breath, taking in his scent and feeling his smooth skin against my forehead and cheek. When I took my second deep breath, I registered his scent. It was a subtle mixture of soap and… something else… something familiar.

  I wasn't sure what the scent was, but I knew I'd smelled it before, and for some reason my body associated it with safety.

  "I'm a shifter, remember?" he whispered, his breath tickling my hair as he rubbed his chin against my temple. "I don't get sick. It's not possible for me to get sick, even if you were, which you aren't. Everything is going to be okay."

  Blinking, I nodded, swallowing down the nausea at the idea that I could have tainted such an amazing man. I was fucking dangerous. I was fucking disgusting.

  "Sorry," I said hoarsely, closing my eyes. "I forgot."

  I allowed myself to be held, his big, warm hands gently rubbing my back through my shirt for a few more moments, before finally taking a deep breath and stepping back.

  He gave me another one of those giant grins, making me feel like I was a hundred feet tall and rubbed his thumb against my cheek. "PTSD can be a bitch, Een. Obviously, I can't see you as a patient, because that would be unethical." He flinched and I wondered what had just run through his head. Probably something to do with how fucking messed up I was. "But, I could definitely recommend someone."

  I swallowed again, smiling slightly. "I'm talking it out with a friend."

  I didn't know how people would take me talking my problems out with a seven hundred pound tiger, but Roarsen was a great listener and tended to poke me with a paw, when he thought I should think things through… or stop picking on myself.

  Decker groaned, letting his head fall back on his shoulders, and I blinked in confusion when the expression on his face as he finally looked at me was one of extreme guilt.

  He was crap at hiding his feelings in his personal life, and I hoped like hell he did better in his professional one, because nobody wanted their psychologist to look at them like they were crazy when they said something that shocked him.

  I considered asking what was wrong with him, or even more appropriately, what he did, but I didn't want to open that line of communication with him.

  Inviting the man I had a giant, massive, ridiculous crush on into the inner workings of my messed up mind and life wasn't something I ever wanted to do. There was just too much opportunity for rejection in doing something like that.

  I didn't know who Roarsen was under that tiger fur, and I wasn't sure if I'd even be attracted to him in that way,
but he knew everything about me. I'd completely spilled my guts to him over the last two months, and he hadn't run from any of it.

  I was starting to think about asking him to shift for me, so we could have real conversations and possibly a real friendship. Possibly, if the chemistry was right, more.

  I knew it was crazy, but I wanted the type of closeness and security in a relationship that came with knowing someone knew all your deepest, darkest secrets and still not only tolerated those things about you, yet loved you more for living through them.

  I didn't know if Roarsen would ever see me romantically. Hell, I didn't know if I'd be able to see him romantically, but a love like that might be worth trying.

  Unfortunately, I didn't know how possible that would be with Decker around, since I was definitely attracted to everything about him and it was getting harder and harder to be around him since it turned out he was not only the most attractive being on the earth, but he was also pushy and bossy and funny and sweet, and looked at me like nobody in the world had ever looked at me—like he was right then, his eyes wide and smile wider as he took me in.

  I sighed, biting my lip, and trying desperately not to smile back. I didn't want to encourage his behavior, did I? "What were you saying, Deck?"

  "Huh?" he asked, smile never slipping from his face as he watched me. "Oh! Carnival! You want to go?"

  Talking to Decker was honestly like talking to a happy puppy. It was hard to dim his enthusiasm, and even harder to want to dim it. He was funny and patient and smarter than he acted most of the time, and even though he was a fairly large man and a fucking predator, he never made me feel trapped, not even when he was continuously invading my personal space like he had no idea what personal space was.

  I was beginning to worry this crush that I'd developed on the man was quickly becoming a little more complicated than a crush, and that was worrisome on so many levels.

  First, what about Roarsen. The friendship I'd developed with him was the type that I wanted in a partner. I wanted one man who could be everything to me.