So Stinkin' Deer: A Friends to Lovers Shifter Mpreg Read online

  I hummed in sarcastic agreement. "Okay, then why are you interrupting?"

  "Where are you?"

  "In the hall. I'm trying to be as quiet as possible, because Barnabi is still sleeping."

  There was a bit of a pause. "Did you guys fall asleep on the couch or something?"

  What? What the hell does that have to do with anything? "No," I answered slowly.

  "Then why are you standing in the hallway instead of in your room?"

  "I just told you," I answered patiently. "I walked out of my room, so we wouldn't wake B."

  "He slept in your bed?" she squeaked loudly, and this time I jerked the phone away from my head, pressing it against my stomach and checking over my shoulder, to make sure I couldn't hear Barnabi moving around, hoping she hadn't woken him.

  I moved quickly down the stairs, growling into the phone. "That was my eardrum, damnit. Be quiet."

  "Did you guys finally fuck?"

  I sighed, glancing out the window to confirm that, though it was snowing again, it was just a light, sweet fall, and nothing like what had gotten dumped on us before. "What is your obsession with our sex lives? No, Bonny, we still haven't fucked. You know it's not like that with us."

  She huffed in my ear, and I smiled exasperatedly. "Have you at least signed up for that app?"

  She was trying to get me to sign up for a dating app, and while I understood and even appreciated her concern, I wasn't interested in some guy I didn't know that could possibly steal my time with Barnabi.

  "No," I said, drawing the word out. "If I need to be snuggled, Barnabi snuggles me." Hell, if I wanted to be snuggled, Barnabi snuggled me.

  There was a pause that somehow felt loaded, and I frowned, wondering what I was walking into on this. "How often do you and Barnabi snuggle?" she asked finally, making me sigh.

  She knew damn good and well that we snuggled all the time.

  "Well, he usually hugs me while the coffee's brewing, and we just kinda rock back and forth." It had started the first morning we woke up in our own house. We'd thought being adults and having our own rooms meant we needed to be sleeping in separate beds, and I'd hated it. I hadn't slept the entire night and was practically in tears by the time I was brewing coffee, so I could get off to my first class. Barnabi had known immediately what was wrong, and he'd pulled me into his arms and rocked me. We'd decided then that we weren't going to be sleeping without the other anymore.

  "I usually sit on his lap in the breakroom at work, because we take our lunches together." That had started one afternoon when we'd walked into the breakroom and there were no places available for two. I'd been nervous and worried about having to sit by someone I didn't know, so Barnabi had plopped down next to one of the girls who worked at the front desk, making her face light up… until he reached out and dragged me into his lap. I'd felt bad for her at first, but she'd just shrugged and gone back to scrolling through her phone, so at least she seemed to get over it easily.

  It never occurred to us that we could go back to sitting as two different people… okay, it occurred to me, but I really liked sitting on his lap, and he liked it that the position made it to where I had to feed him for the most part.

  "We snuggle on the couch after dinner and watch TV or read, and then we usually snuggle while we're sleeping. Not that much really."

  Another silence from her end that I wasn't all that comfortable with. "You're the biggest idiot I've ever met in my life."

  I rolled my eyes, deciding to move this conversation to the kitchen. I'd have much better luck of keeping from waking Barnabi with more walls between us, and I might as well do something productive if she was going to keep blabbing on and on.

  "What about kissing?" she asked, and I tripped on nothing, stumbling slightly into the kitchen.

  Kissing? Did she mean with Barnabi or just someone in general?

  "I haven't kissed anyone yet."

  "I know, but do you want to?"

  I paused, not even sure I should admit this to her. "Yeah. I do think about that sometimes." Like all the time. Did I have the urge to be skin to skin with someone and feel their body against mine? Definitely. But the thought of kissing, of breathing the same air, of soft, spit-slick skin brushing, and tongues sliding together… There was just something about kissing that had become a near-constant craving for me, but not just kissing any old lips. "I do think I'd like to do that someday, but I don't want to kiss just anyone."

  I could hear that smirk of hers through the phone, the one that she used when she was about to rip Thunder a new one and was thoroughly enjoying the build-up. "Have you ever thought about kissing Barnabi?"

  Just hearing the words out loud was like a punch right in the gut, and I bit my lip to keep from whimpering in her ear, because… no. Of course, she'd somehow know. Of course, she'd call me out on it through the phone, knowing damn good and well if I was any closer to the man, he'd be able to hear her.

  "Keep it down," I whispered harshly, ducking down in front of the cabinets by the refrigerator and pursing my lips when I realized it was one of those ultra-quiet ones that barely made noise and therefore couldn't help to hide the conversation I was somehow having even though I didn't want to.

  "Well, do you?" she asked, only marginally quieter, but at least she wasn't saying names and words that might clue a certain alpha deer into my feelings for him that definitely weren't platonic.

  "Uh."

  "That's a yes, isn't it?"

  I froze for a moment, biting my lip. I didn't want to tell anyone. It was far too intimate and far too dangerous to share, but the craving to kiss Barnabi sometimes was driving me crazy, and in that moment, I was hoping getting the words out would help. Maybe getting it off my chest would somehow take some of the weight of it away.

  I licked my lips, crouching even closer to the floor to whisper. "Of course, I've thought about kissing Barnabi. He's my favorite person in the whole world. I think about it all the time. Sometimes, I want to kiss him so bad, it almost hurts not to."

  I thought I heard something in the living room and froze, listening closely for any other noise, but nothing came and when another gust of wind hit the window, I sighed in relief as I realized I was just being paranoid, because of the topic of conversation.

  Bonny chuckled, making sounds in my ear that almost resembled how you might talk to a pet. "And he's gorgeous."

  "There's that too." But we both knew Barnabi was more than just gorgeous. The man was… one of the most stunning human beings I'd ever seen in my life.

  "How do you live in a house with a man that hot and not think about all the things he could do to your body?"

  I did not appreciate the way she said that.

  "All right, lady. Watch it."

  "Oh," she gasped dramatically. "Was that jealousy? Over little ol' me? Don't worry, Fowl, your boy's not interested in me. But tell me you don't at least think about it."

  Fuck! I blushed hard, hiding my face even though nobody could see me. Which was good, because I probably looked absolutely ridiculous.

  "Uh…" I answered articulately, not wanting to confirm, but knowing it would be pointless to deny.

  That craving was definitely there. It wasn't quite as strong as me wanting to kiss him, but it was definitely an itch under my skin that was getting harder and harder to scratch by the things I was doing in the shower while thinking about him. I really was going to have to buy some toys, because my fingers weren't doing the job anymore.

  "Oh my God!" she yelled excitedly, making me jump and fall the rest of the way to the floor, landing on my ass by the fridge. "I knew you thought about him like that."

  "Fuck, Bonny," I said, grasping my chest. "Shut up. I didn't even say anything."

  "You didn't need to. I could hear the sexual frustration in that one syllable. I should have asked you in front of Barnabi. Even he would have heard that, then maybe you guys could be on your way to finally fucking."

  "Never do that to me," I snapped, wide-eyed. She
wouldn't do that to me, would she? Put me on the spot like that?

  Damn. She'd definitely do that.

  After a long pause, she cleared her throat, and my stomach dipped, somehow knowing what was coming before she even asked it. "I have a bigger question to ask you, Fowler, but I think I already know the answer to it."

  "Then don't ask it," I begged, my throat clogging as I clutched the phone close to my face. "Please, Bonny. Don't ask it."

  The moment seemed to stretch on forever, and I swallowed several times, fighting the sob trying to work its way out of my throat.

  "Okay, Fowl," she whispered finally, her voice sounding just as strained as mine. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. For what it's worth, I really think––"

  Barnabi came stomping in the kitchen, looking… not at all happy. His eyes found me immediately, taking in my crumpled form on the floor and the moisture in my eyes, and only got angrier by the looks of it.

  He held out his hand for the phone, and I slowly pulled it away from my face, not entirely sure what Bonny was saying, but it sounded like she was trying to console me. I slid the device into his palm slowly.

  What had he heard? And was that why he looked so pissed?

  "Why is my omega crying, Bonny?" he snapped into the phone, and I gasped, reaching up to check. Sure enough, the moisture in my eyes had turned to tears running down my face.

  How fucking humiliating. I never cried. Probably because Barnabi never let me cry. Never let me get upset enough about anything to cry, because he was always there to hold me and make me better, and maybe I was a bit spoiled, but crying?

  Sticking around after that was not an option. I wasn't sure how much he had heard, and I damn sure didn't want to answer any questions about what we'd been talking about to upset me… and I couldn't stop fucking crying!

  Clambering to my feet, I took off running toward the bathroom, needing to lock myself inside somewhere, and since Barnabi and I shared the damn bedroom, because there was something seriously wrong with me and my self-preservations skills, I didn't feel comfortable hiding in there with the door locked, keeping him out of our room.

  Maybe if I locked myself in the bathroom for a few hours, he'd forget all about everything, and we could sit around and watch more Christmas movies and drink some more hot chocolate, and everything could just be fine.

  Chapter Four

  Everything was not fine, and I was about to lose my fucking mind. I was pissed, and I wasn't entirely sure who I was pissed at. Fowler was hiding in the bathroom, like he was afraid to be near me, and I was pretty sure I'd overheard him telling Bonny…

  That could wait.

  "I didn't mean to upset him, B, you know that." Bonny said, sounding as miserable as I felt.

  "I know," I conceded, sighing. "But he is upset and hiding in the bathroom, and I want my damn omega sitting with me on the couch watching movies."

  "Break down the door?"

  "Something a little more practical, please."

  "How do you feel about Fowler?" she asked on a whisper after a long moment.

  "I love him," I answered easily. What did my feelings for Fowler have to do with anything? I wasn't worried about me in that moment. I needed to know what to do about my little skunk. I needed to know how to dry his tears and heal his hurting heart.

  My mind tried to wander to the exchange between Fowler and Bonny, and the things I'd overheard, but the most important thing right then was making sure my omega was okay. I could take time later to think over everything else.

  Bonny sighed, and I could almost hear her rolling her eyes. "But do you love him?"

  I blinked, wondering if she hadn't heard me, or if she'd thought I was talking about loving him platonically. For me, one had morphed into the other seamlessly years ago, so I didn't know where the love for a friend stopped, and the love for a man started. I just knew that he was my everything, and all I wanted in the whole world was for him to be happy.

  "More than anything." Again, an easy answer.

  She sighed. "You're both so perfect for each other. I want that. I want my soulmate. You were so lucky to find each other so young."

  I nodded, smiling sadly, even though she couldn't see either. We were lucky, but that didn't change the fact that my omega, the man who definitely was my soulmate was upstairs hiding from me.

  "Maybe you should tell him," she said, once again drawing my attention to her.

  "I do tell him. I tell him all the time."

  "Yeah, about that. How is it possible that you guys cuddle all the damn time, and you haven't had sex?"

  I huffed out a small laugh. "Well, I definitely think about it, but I don't want to scare him."

  She sighed. "You must have heard a lot of what we were talking about, right?" I grunted in reply, and she must have taken that for a yes. "Then you obviously know how he feels about it." I grunted again. "Tell him how you feel and make him understand that it's more than in a platonic way. Hell, just go up there and fuck his brains out. I'm sure he'll get the gist then."

  Heat coursed through my body, and I really wished I wasn't on the phone with Bonny in that moment, because it was a little uncomfortable to be that turned on with her voice quacking in my ear.

  "I need to go," I finally grumbled. "I've got to fix this. I can't have him up there hurting, Bon."

  "Okay, but if you go up there and do dirty things to that skunk, remember me when you guys go on to have stinky fawns, I get pick of the litter."

  I snorted, not sure if I should be offended or amused. "They aren't puppies or kittens, Bonny," I grumbled, already striding toward the stairs.

  "Then I get to name your first-born––"

  I rolled my eyes, seriously considering going over to her house later, tying her to a chair and sticking a giant bow on her head before leaving her on Thunder's doorstep.

  "––and his soul," she finished, just as I reached the bottom step.

  I didn't even say goodbye as I hung up and then took the stairs two at a time, coming to a stop in front of the bathroom door.

  "Fowl?" I called softly, knowing he'd be able to hear me. "Can you come out of there, please?"

  He groaned, and I could tell he was just on the other side of the door, probably leaning his head against the wood. I could imagine him looking sad and embarrassed, and I hated it. I just needed him out of there and in my arms.

  "I don't want to right now," he said, in barely more than a whisper.

  My chest squeezed at the pain I could hear there. I needed him to come out. I didn't care about the rest right then. There would be plenty of time to talk and think about the rest. "Why not, sweetheart? I just want to hold you and make you feel better."

  "That does sound nice, but I don't want to talk about anything."

  "If I agree not to bring anything up, will you come out and let me hold you? We can go watch Christmas movies and snuggle, and you can tell me whatever you want whenever you want."

  "You'd be willing to forget it?" he asked hopefully, his voice sounding far better than it had moments before."

  "I'd do anything to be able to hold you right now. I hate the idea of you sitting in there alone and sad."

  There was a long pause, and then the lock on the door clicked, and the knob turned, and I barely waited long enough for him to step back from the door as he pulled it open, before I was pushing inside and pulling him into my arms.

  Thankfully, the sobbing had stopped, but I could feel the sadness radiating off of him, and I needed him to stop hurting above all else, so I pulled back to look down into his beautiful face, my thumb tracing over the white eyebrow.

  God, he's so beautiful. And not just physically. He was a beautiful soul with a beautiful heart, and I would never understand how I got so lucky to have him as my best friend for practically my whole life.

  "Hey, sweetheart," I whispered, giving him a sad smile.

  He huffed, rolling his eyes, before giving me the same smile in return. "Don't look at me like that. I'm better now
."

  "I'll look how I want," I grumbled, pressing my forehead to his. "I don't like you sad, Fowl. I can't stand it."

  "I have to be sad sometimes, B," he grumbled, but he didn't pull away. "Everyone gets sad occasionally."

  "Not you. It's my job to keep you happy, and I don't like failing, Fowl."

  He chuckled, closing his eyes and shaking his head against mine. "You're ridiculous."

  "Merry Christmas," I said softly, watching his pretty green eyes brighten like he'd forgotten for a moment.

  "Merry Christmas, B."

  "Are you ready to watch movies with me, sweetheart?"

  "It's still early. Don't you want coffee and breakfast?"

  I hummed, before bending to pick him up. He gasped, wrapping his arm around my neck, and I smiled as I made my way downstairs and back into the kitchen, not stopping until I had him sitting on the counter right next to the coffee pot, and I was standing between his legs while I worked around his body to make coffee.

  He chuckled, not at all seeming bothered by the fact that I didn't once allow him far enough away from me that I couldn't touch him, and he even threw his head back and laughed when I leaned in and pressed my nose to his chest as the coffee brewed.

  "Don't you think you're taking this a little overboard?" he asked softly, running his fingers through the hair on the back of my head.

  "No. What if I was sad?" I asked, pulling back slightly to look up at him. "Wouldn't you feel the same way?"

  It was a rhetorical question, because we'd both been there when my favorite uncle had gotten sick. He hadn't been able to leave my side. Not only because I was desperate to have him there, but also because he'd glued himself to me, unable to let me out of his sight, because he didn't want me to feel alone.

  "You're going to have to let me walk when the coffee is done. You can't carry me and your coffee at the same time."

  I smirked, leaning up to brush our noses together, purposely ignoring the way my mouth tingled at the heat from his, and the fact that I could kiss him so damn easily right then. "Is that a challenge, sweet skunk?"

  He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you'll take it as one.